Alpaca．Diego

An alpaca who constantly has drool hanging from the corners of his mouth and whose brain is addled from heavy drug use. It is not uncommon for him to hallucinate in broad daylight, during which naked elves and lobster knights are the most frequent of the "friends" he sees. Before being incarcerated, he was an apprentice chef, but it was to be the start of his downward spiral.

Diego has been plagued by bad luck since childhood. His dad was a drunk and a deadbeat, so his mom took the family's money and ran off with another man before Diego had even been weaned. When Diego was four years old, his dad somehow drowned himself in the toilet at a bar. By the time Diego was 14, he had been in the orphanage for 10 full years. Because he was too old and needed too much food, he was thrown out. When he left, the director gave him a letter of recommendation for an apprenticeship at a restaurant called Good Life, owned by a distant relative of the director.

The apprenticeship was hard work and poorly paid, but Diego loved it. He finally felt that there was hope in his life. But it seemed that the wheel of tragedy was unstoppable as it mercilessly rolled over him. For unknown reasons, a serious fire broke out in the restaurant's kitchen, and the unlucky Diego suffered severe burns. He was in agony, but his unscrupulous boss put the blame on his off-the-books apprentice, and refused to help pay his medical bills. Poor Diego, could only rely on cheap painkillers and his raw determination to fight through the pain. He recovered in a few months, but now had a severe drug dependency.

He tried quitting the drugs, but soon gave up. Desperate for money to fund his addiction, he learned how to steal and it was not long before he joined a street gang. The drugs meant that he was constantly off his head, so even after years in the gang, he could only do lowly grunt work. But he still managed to screw up even the simplest of jobs. In fact, he is only incarcerated now because he gave the game away during a smuggling run. But he has completely forgotten the details of how it all went down.

He is always talking about his girlfriend Katherine, but in fact, she is just one of his many hallucinations. There are at least a dozen other such "friends" in his head.